desire

Today it snowed...it was so beautiful...just like the first day i saw the white cover on this foreign, still virgin lands for me. it brought back nice memories, souvenirs that i keep close to my heart just like his ring on my necklace. one month has already passed, one month in which I've learnt to submitt my will to one man, but not by denying my desires...just completing them with what we share.
He calls it destiny...destiny crossed our path in that cold, snowy january night. I longed for him, I lusted him...I wanted him...and I had him....and I thought that everything will crumble once the pendulum will strike 12 o'clock in the night and the magic of that winter day will dissapear....but it went on, and on, to this present day.
I've learnt to trust myself and trust him. hard to believe for someone who has been through what I've been. I learnt to be warm again, to smile, to give without asking in return. I've learnt how to live again, in a distinct way of what i was used to.
My ego disappeared. The need of independence as well. All i know is that I am being tied down by his kisses and embrace, my ice cold skin turns burning when I feel that he is close to me. and he is...every day, every minute,every second...he is a part of me already, a part of my way of thinking, a part of my way of leaving...the solitary me has been dissolved, " us" took its' place.
My pride? vanished under one gaze of his
I am lucky..I really am...he makes me want to be better, because in a way I feel that i don't deserve someone like him, a kind soul that really cares about me. he makes me want to be better, for myself and this whole world. here I am, in this cold room, in this cold night, waiting patiently for his return. he is all I need right now