she said to me that writting helps...clearing your mind, ordering your thoughts, making you feel releaved
But i have so many things to say that I don't even know where to start from...wish I had a white Christmas back home, next to my friends and family....there are so many things that I am longing for, and so many things that I know i can't have...
But still nothing stops me from dreaming and hoping that one day things will go my way...That I will finally say..yes, this is what I trully want..
We are tied to this world by our desires, they are the chains that hold us down...
I can't remember when was the last time I sat down and read a good book...
I can't remember when was the last time I said I love you and actually meant it, and not saying it because I am used to love the idea of being in love.
They say that time heals..But it would be better to say..time repeats..over and over again. You tend to repeat so many times the things you do, and you end up forgeting how it felt at the beginning. This is the reason why Orpheus was not allowed to look behind. Seeing her again....he submitted her to repeating process, and poor her...she faded away..
That's why I look behind...so i can forget..
and i start asking myself...actually I am asking for the definition of hapiness
Louis Guilloux defines it in a simple way..."The true hapiness is the one that bursts out of one's heart and is being reflected on another...a child to be held in one's arms. One must never see it as a mature woman...make her die for love...as for love...it's even much more easier to be defined..one must conquer her into its' depths,make her weep"
These words are deep though many people might not understand them..but they don't need comprehension...they need to be felt...lived
Ma croyance....etait jadis l'amour...now it's vague.