insomnia

you toss and turn in your bed..it's nice, and warm, but you still feel like something's missing. you're trying to reach out and feel him, but this time he's not there. you hug the pillow and try to fall asleep. it's strange how this bed that is so small seems so big suddenly. you go to your side of the bed, waiting and waiting for him to come and lay next to you...it's vague, but in a way you still can feel him there...his scent, his presence, his heat next to your skin cold as ice.
tic tac, tic tac...time goes by and he's not there...you know he won't come...at least for a while. you just lay there, head facing the "prison's" cold wall, missing him and hoping that he is well. you embrace this solitude in a cold January nite, keeping yourself warm with the memories that you rewind in your mind