Thoughts...

imagine yourself in a box, nothing to bee seen, nothing to be felt. Complete darkness falls upon your eyes and your heart. But even so, you can't stop the thoughts running along in your mind.
You try to escape,you try to forget. Futile...all those feeble feelings in you start to become stronger and stronger, growing inside of you...this life ain't worth living you start thinking..
you are locked so far away, no one can touch you...but you long for warmth. You locked yourself in a world full of regret and hatred, and of wicked games.
You remember that voice in your head, the last good bye and the first tear..it's to much fogg around you, you can't smile... he was asking too much from your side
you just have to forget bout everything, of this world, feeling,soulmates, whispering in the ears, you have to be strong and never let him bring you down
Why can't you be some-one else? you claim o have many reasons, but your void..it's just us, in this empty, dark amd dusty room...both all alone and lacking resolve.
They say that in evey existance there is a point where love meets love, meaning your love for something or for someone. That point is the center of the universe, of philosophers, geologists, imbecils and wise men.
Isn't it too late for regrets?Maybe my eyes are wet because of the smoke and I am looking up for words in the past. It's such a mess, what else might be left to say? maybe nothing so I'd better remain silent, I ll let you be the one to hurt me with that last word belonging to a mind that has been shattered by regrets . Why us? why is that so? Why can't I change anything? why are you looking in the ground while you're having a drag and I am asking you to change? And it's all in vain, because you always leave me alone..it's better for me to go on my separate road.
It's just me now, in this dark and cold box, tied to the ground and trying to walk away from the past...better said crawl...I am bleeding, I am cold and I am hungry.
I need shelter from this world I leave in , I need to reach the sun, far away from you....

Holiday

Nu fiecare inceput inseamna neaparat si punctul de sfarsit...totul a inceput, aici, in mintea mea, dar o sa se sfarseaca prea departe de intelegerea noastra..
Fiecare fugim de cateceva, si anumite actiuni intaresc deciza de a scapa...am fugit, am vrut o viata noua, dar am primit o vacanta prelingita
Prietene, stii oare cat de aproape este Marte atunci cand vrei neaparat sa ajungi acolo? sau cat de adanci sunt regretele si durerea cand vrei sa uiti de ele?
Ganduri si trairi antagonice...te simti ca la margine de prapastie...nici nu stii ce decizie sa iei...stai si te uiti in gol,simti nevoia parca sa zbori,dar lanturile care te leaga de pamant sunt prea grele...prea grele sa te lase sa te desprinzi de tot ce a fost sau de tot ce este...
Tu insati te simti greu...povara devine din ce in ce mai grea pe masura ce clepsidra se scurge.
Stii ce vrei, dar nu stii daca vrei cu adevarat..sunt momente in care ai sta numai acolo, unde te simti tu in siguranta, sau sunt momente cand respingi ceea ce simti...sau ceea ce se presupune ca vrei
dar lanturile sunt acolo, te strang si nu iti dau drumul...te leaga trecutul, prezentul si viitorul...te leaga promisiuni pe care totusi simti ca nu poti sa le rupi, pentru ca ti-ar rupe lanturile si ai fii liber
Ti-e frica de libertate, ti-e frica pentru ca nu o cunosti? ce inseamna sa fii cu adevarat liber? sa nu ai anumite " circumstante atenunate" care sa te lege de viata pe care o duci.
Fiecare gura de aer sa zicem asa, este ca o circumstanta atenuata...fiecare sentiment,fiecare viciu
Libertatea este o utopie...este lantul care te leaga si te limiteaza de fapt..a fi liber inseamna a nu mai fi

The day that never comes....

prea tarziu...prea tarziu sa incerc sa mai rationez, sa ma mai gandesc sau sa imi aduc aminte..trag aer in piept...ma las pe spate si imi dau drumul la par.
Incerc sa captez acel moment...pe care nici nu pot sa il definesc. Ma cheama ceva....acel ceva de mult pierdut, de cand eram copila... mai trag o gura de aer...
ceea ce simt si ceea ce gandesc...Metallica

Passion....

A spliff,a man, a little girl, far away from humanity...tall, pale complexion, blond, with rapturing eyes was all she could see in that glass little world..their world came alive only at night...he was all that she could breathe, he was all that she could see and all that she wanted to need. She was the one who used to hug, with warmth, and sometimes with some love. Only at night she uses to be with him...in a long lasting revery

Insomnia

it's just one of those nights....when you put your head on the pillow and you try and sleep...when all of those words are coming back and rewinding and fast forwarding in your mind...the satin purple sofa in the oriental salon...coffee and tea served....an infinte dream of what could have been, or still might be
But instead of the purple satin sofa is a cold hard bed, and a naked soul...just a naked soul and it's thoughts wandering around the empty streets of its' conscience...trying to remember....so many things that don't let me sleep, so many feelings that make me twist and turn
I am at a crossroad...I need to take my own decisions, I have to make it right, for my sake and for the sake of the people around me..
You know what they say...what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...I just wanna reach that point, I wanna be strong for both me and him...

Un mic drum catre Marte

De ce sa mint? imi este dor de el.....mi-e dor sa il aud cum respira la urechea mea, sa stiu ca nu poate sa doarma daca eu nu sunt acolo sa ma tina in brate...mi-e dor sa ma cuddle in el, sa simt cum imi directioneaza corpul, cum imi sopteste la ureche, ca sa isi strecoara piciorul intre ale mele...sa sa intoarca pe burta si cu toate ca sta incomod, sa-si lase mana sa ma cuprinda...Mi-e dor sa ma joc pe pielea sa fina, sa ma roage sa ma joc in parul lui...sa ma stranga tare in brate si apoi sa isi lase capul pe al meu si sa adoarma...mi-e dor sa il simt dimineatza cum se apropie de mine si ma strange tare, se pune pe spate si sa-mi zica adormit..."pune capul pe umarul meu si strange-ma in brate"
Mi-e dor de prima dimineata impreuna, goi sub plapuma, si el sa ma filmeze in timp ce vorbeam semi ascunsa...mi-e dor sa ne uitam din nou pe acele filmulete, sa rad de fata pe care pot sa o am filmata...mi-e dor sa ma imbrac in graba....sa ma trezesc devreme, sa ma uit la cum doarme, la barbtita blond roscata, si pieptul sau asa de alb....mi-e dor sa ma duc la geamul din sufrageria dezordonata (apartament de burlac) si sa vad cate o colega, si pe care sa o strig incet ca sa nu il trezesc..mi-e dor de mesajele in poloneza..:) in care sa imi zica ca sunt frumoasa lui....
Mi-e dor de el....